If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you might be in an abusive relationship.

Emotional abuse
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • Belittle you, or put you down?
  • Blame you for the abuse or arguments?
  • Deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?
  • Isolate you from your family and friends?
  • Stop you going to college or work?
  • Make unreasonable demands for your attention?
  • Accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
  • Tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
  • Control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?

Threats and intimidation
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • Threaten to hurt or kill you?
  • Destroy things that belong to you?
  • Stand over you, invade your personal space?
  • Threaten to kill themselves or the children?
  • Read your emails, texts or letters?
  • Harass or follow you?

Physical abuse
The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways. Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • Slap, hit or punch you?
  • Push or shove you?
  • Bite or kick you?
  • Burn you?
  • Choke you or hold you down?
  • Throw things?

Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they’re male or female. Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • Touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched?
  • Make unwanted sexual demands?
  • Hurt you during sex?
  • Pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
  • Pressure you to have sex?
  • Film/take photos without consent or make threats to share these without consent (even if consent given to film/take photos)?
  • Have you ever felt afraid of your partner or former partner?
  • Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner, or former partner, might do?
  • Are you worried about the consequences if you decline sex?

If your partner, or former partner, has sex with you when you don’t want to, this is rape.

Economic Abuse
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • Restrict your access to essential resources such as food, clothing or transport?
  • Prevent you from being in education or employment?
  • Sabotage your income or access to money?
  • Refuse to allow you to claim benefits?
  • Taken your children’s savings or birthday money?
  • Taken your pay
  • Limited the amount of hours you can work?

Financial Abuse
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • Force you to take out money or get credit in your name?
  • Asked you to prove what you have spent your money on?
  • Made you hand over control of your accounts?
  • Cashed in your pension or other assets or cheques without permission?
  • Added their name to your account?
  • Pressured you to change your will?
  • Stopped you from accessing your bank, loan or credit card accounts?
  • Controlled what you can or can’t spend your money on?
  • Set up direct debits from your account to pay bills that are not yours?
  • Pressured you to pay benefits into an account that you don’t have access to?

Abuse is never acceptable and we are here to help.

These questions can help you to recognise if you, or someone you know, are in an abusive relationship.